My IVF Journey

I’ve Always wanted to BE A MOM…

Here’s a little part of my journey - at the bottom is my story in video form.

This is my story — not just of becoming a mom, but of surviving the long, heartbreaking, and often invisible road it took to get here. I never thought this is how my life would look like, but here I am and now and can’t imagine it any other way.

It took me years to bring my baby into this world. Years of heartbreak, waiting, loss, hope, disappointment, and starting over. And while I’m now on the other side — holding the child I once could only dream of — I’ll never forget what it took to get here.

For a long time, I watched my friends get pregnant, throw baby showers, post birth announcements. And while I was happy for them, I was also drowning in my own pain. The jealousy I felt was real, and it was heavy. I began to isolate myself, pulling away from people I loved simply because I couldn’t handle the emotional weight of being around what I wanted so badly. I’ve since tried to make amends with many of those friends — people I truly care about — but at the time, I was just trying to survive.

I became a shell of myself. I didn’t know how I could be happy without the child I so desperately longed for. I explored every possible path — adoption, fostering, anything that might lead me to motherhood. But as an older, single woman without a large home or a high income, I ran into obstacle after obstacle. The cost of working with an adoption agency was staggering. Fostering came with its own limitations. Ironically, IVF turned out to be the most accessible route — financially and logistically — despite how grueling it was.

Eventually, I turned to surrogacy. It was not cheap. I drained my savings account. I took a leap of faith with no guarantee of success. And still, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Now that I’m here — now that I’m holding this child I fought so hard for — I feel nothing but overwhelming gratitude. I could not love my baby any more than I do. The pain, the money, the loneliness, the countless nights spent wondering if it would ever happen… it was all worth it.

If you're reading this and walking a similar path, please know you're not alone. Your story might not look like everyone else's. Your road to motherhood might be longer, windier, or more unconventional. But that doesn’t make it any less valid. Or any less beautiful.

Below is part of my story in video form…